January Souvenir
by Myste-maus
Summary: A few weeks before Christmas, the Doctor is called back to Earth by an old Companion. Why? Well, that remains to be seen... Rated T due to one swear word, because I'm paranoid. The romance is 10/Rose, not 10/Martha, just so you know.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello, all. This was meant to be a Christmas story, and maybe it actually succeeded. Or maybe it just devolved into an angsty, sort of hurt/comfort... thing. Please review and tell me which one ****_you_**** think it turned into. **

**Disclaimer: Like just about every other fan out there, I wish ****_Doctor Who_**** was mine. But it's not. It's the BBC's. And maybe it's just as well...**

There were a lot of places that the Tardis' doors had opened on in its time, but only one place where the Doctor felt nearly as at home as he had on Gallifrey. So when he stepped out into the January wind, it was as good as coming home.

"You took your sweet time," a familiar voice said from behind him, as rich and amused he remembered it.

"Well, you know..." he drawled. "The old girl's not getting any younger-"

"Yeah, she's aged a lot since I last saw her-three weeks ago."

"-and anyway, I figured it couldn't be life or death, since you weren't screaming at me on the phone."

"And if it _had_ been life or death? You would have felt pretty silly, arriving right now, Doctor."

He smiled. "Yes, I would." Turning around, he took in the sight of his ex-Companion, her arms crossed and a roguish smile on her lips. "Martha Jones."

"Doctor." She inclined her head in greeting.

"So what's going on? I assume you must have some reason for calling me up out of the blue. Having second thoughts about staying home?"

She snorted. "Don't you wish." But he could see it in her eyes, beneath the surface-the mixture of anger and hurt that had been there when he last saw her. Emotions put there by the abuse inflicted on her family. Still, she looked to be taking it relatively in stride.

"You don't look half bad," he commented. She chuckled, running a hand through her hair.

"You sure know how to compliment a girl." She motioned with her head towards the nearest house, a building that the Doctor vaguely recalled as belonging to her mother. "Come on. It's cold out here, and I told Mum you were coming."

"Oh?" he inquired, matching her stride as she began walking back to the house. "And she didn't threaten to do me physical harm for whisking her daughter away?"

Martha smiled absently. "Nah. She told me that she'd forgiven you for that a long time ago. Almost a year, as it happens."

Of course. The Year That Never Was. He should have known. "How is she handling it?"

"About as well as you'd expect. There's no major PTSD or anything like that, but she's...different, now. She and Dad are actually both living here nowadays-they thought they'd give it a try again. Tish and Leo are, too."

"And you?"

"For now. I figured I'd move out after I finished training-or after things have settled down around here, whichever comes first."

"I meant, are you okay."

She shrugged. "Not really, but I'm getting there. And I feel a lot better, now that you're here."

"Yeah, about that-"

But by now, they had reached the door, which Martha swung open with a vaguely theatrical gesture. "After you."

"Ah. Ladies first, Miss Jones."

"Such a gentleman," she said, smirking as she entered. "Mum! I'm back! And I've got the Doctor with me!"

Judging by how quickly Mrs. Jones appeared, she must have been waiting by the door. "Doctor," she said, folding her arms and leaning against the jamb.

"Mrs. Jones," he answered warily.

Martha harrumphed softly. "Some great conversationalists you are," she chided. "Mum, we're gonna be up in my room for a bit. I'll be back down to help with supper, alright?"

"Don't be too long. Your father and sister will be home in a few hours, and I'd like to have dinner ready by then."

"Right. Doctor, if you would...?" Martha gestured up the stairs. Shooting a glance her way, he began to ascend, with her following at his heels. The sooner he was out of her mother's range, the better. Just because she had forgiven him his infractions didn't mean that he was necessarily welcome.

Martha's room was done in bright colors, looking much like the room he'd seen before. Furniture and clothing were arranged haphazardly, in the style of many young human adults.

"Haven't had time to do a clean up?" he asked her teasingly, taking a seat on a nearby chair that was pushed up to a desk.

"You're one to talk," Martha scoffed. "I bet the reason you didn't let me go wandering in the Tardis was 'cause it was such a mess."

"Nonsense. I'd never leave her a mess inside."

"I bet." She took a seat on a chair semi-opposite his. "So," she said, sounding suddenly casual. Too casual. "What've you been up to recently? Out saving planets?"

"Martha." His voice was sober, almost cold. "You didn't call me here to ask me that, did you. You called me for a reason."

Martha swallowed. "No," she whispered. Her lips twitched into a brief, nervous smile. "It's a little late for Christmas, but... well, I kinda figured you needed it now more than ever, what with you bein' on your own again."

He frowned. "Needed what?"

For answer, she pulled up her knapsack and drew out a paper packet. Her hand trembled as she handed it to him, and his did the same as he tore the packet open.

"I managed to track it down," Martha explained. "All the stuff in the apartment had been collected by family members, but I convinced them that there was a bloke who needed it as much as they did."

But he wasn't listening anymore, as he stared at the photo in his hand. Rose grinned back at him from its glossy surface, as happy as he could remember ever seeing her. And trapped in the crook of her arm was a marginally younger version of himself, his eyes winced shut against the camera's flash. The photo had been taken far enough back that his younger self's hair still fell half into his eyes, unhampered.

"I remember this picture..." he whispered, running his fingers over his Rose's smiling face.

"Then tell me," Martha urged softly.

"I can't."

"Can't or won't? Doctor, I know that I'm not Rose, and I never will be, but you _need_ to stop bottling all this up inside you and tell someone." She caught his eyes and held them with her own, imploring. "I can listen. I won't tell anyone else."

For a long time, the the hum of a heater was the only sound. His eyes glazed over, and she knew he was looking far back into his memory, remembering that day. "Jackie, Rose's mum, took it a while back, a month or so after the Sycorax came. She said she wanted something to remember Rose by while she was with me..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: So now we're in a flashback! Was it confusing?**

**Disclaimer: Like just about every other fan out there, I wish ****_Doctor Who_**** was mine. But it's not. It's the BBC's. And maybe it's just as well...**

"It's not like I'm gonna be gone for years, Mum," Rose laughed. Jackie pouted derisively, crossing her arms. The Doctor watched from the doorway, keeping a safe distance from mother and daughter while he nursed a cup of freshly made tea.

"Well," Jackie huffed theatrically, " 'ow am I s'posed to know where you are, or what's 'appening to you, 'alfway across the universe?"

Rose covered her mouth to hide a smile. "A photograph isn't gonna tell you where I am, Mum."

Jackie threw her hands up in disgust. "Oh, be quiet, already. And stay 'ere while I get the camera." She shot the Doctor a withering glance as she bustled past him. "Don't you go whisking 'er off somewhere while I'm not looking."

Rose shook her head affectionately once her mother was out of sight. "Sometimes, I think I really need to stay here with her."

The Doctor looked up from his tea, alarmed. "Do you want to?" he asked, working hard to keep his voice from sounding like a panicked girl.

"And leave you by yourself? Not a chance. After all, you still haven't shown me all those places you keep telling me about. And I plan to see each and every one of them."

That was good. Comforted considerably, he breathed a sigh of relief and went back to his tea.

"Found it!" Jackie exclaimed, rushing back into the room with a camera swinging from her hand by its strap.

"Mum-" Rose began.

"Don't you start that again, love," Jackie interrupted. "Just the one picture, then we can forget about it."

"Oh, alright," Rose mock-grumbled. "But on one condition."

"What's that?"

Quicker than Jackie or the Doctor would have believed possible, Rose leaped across the room and caught the Time Lord around the neck, spilling tea onto the carpet. But she either didn't notice or didn't care, as she dragged him back to Jackie like a trophy, ignoring his halfhearted struggles.

"I want him in the picture, too."

Jackie cocked an eyebrow. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself," she told the Doctor sternly. "Clinging to my Rose's apronstrings, at your age."

"You have no idea," he answered, his voice thick due to the arm constricting his throat.

"Well, I figured he's probably never gotten to be in someone's photo before," Rose said defensively, before remembering the photos she'd first seen of the old Doctor. "Or in someone's family photo, anyway."

"Actually, there were a couple of times..." the Doctor offered, before she casually choked his sentence off.

"Alright, alright, I s'pose we can do that," Jackie sighed. "Stand over there by the window, would you?"

Rose obliged with a victorious smile that would have done the Cheshire Cat proud, her arm still around the Doctor's neck so that he had to stumble after her, bent almost double. "Is this okay?" she asked, situating herself in the brightest spot.

"That's perfect."

"Um, 'scuse me..." the Doctor gasped, tugging at Rose's arm, "two things. One, I'm still carrying my teacup-"

"Oh, that's fine," Rose answered dismissively, taking it out of his hands and setting it on the coffee table. "And two?"

"And two, you're choking me. Could you let go, please?"

"Oh, I dunno," Jackie drawled, "I think I kinda like the ambience of that picture. What d'you think, love?"

"Definitely."

"No, really," he gritted, "if you do not let me go, I am going to have to _make_ you let me go, and you are _not_ going to like that at _all_...not one tiny, little-"

The camera flashed in his eyes, simultaneously making him wince and cutting off his tirade. Fortunately, the arm around his neck slackened and released him to tend to his stinging eyes as he pleased. As he tried to make the sparkles and flashes behind his eyelids go away, he could hear Rose and Jackie cackling fiendishly. He flushed.

"That was _not_ funny," he growled, still mostly blind. "Not one bit."

"Maybe not," Rose gasped through her laughter, "but it would be worth doing again just to see the look on your face...!"

"Don't tease the poor bloke, Rose!" Jackie laughed. " 'is poor face is red as it is...!"

Unable to help himself despite the childishness of the act, the Doctor crossed his arms and sulked. "That's it," he said. "You are officially grounded, young lady."

Rose didn't stop chortling. "What about Mum?"

One brown eyebrow went up. "Unfortunately, she doesn't travel with me, so I'll just have to inflict her own daughter on her. See how _she_ likes your brand of 'humor'."

"Oi," Jackie grumbled.

"Alright, alright," Rose exclaimed, finally getting a grip on herself. "I promise I won't do it again. Or have Mum do it. You'll never have to have another picture taken."

"Never ever?"

She raised one hand solemnly. "Never ever. Cross my heart and hope to die."

He let out a sulky 'hmph.' "You'd better _not_ do it again. I might just decide it's best not to leave you and your mum alone together."

"Oi!"

"Don't worry, we'll be good in the future," Rose told him, flashing him that wondrously infectious smile of hers. Despite his ruffled feathers, he found his pout melting into an answering smile, showing teeth the way this body was wont to do.

"See that you do," he answered. Unfortunately, the warning was rather blunted by the smile. And from the look on Rose's face, she knew he no longer really meant it-not that he had _really_ meant it in the first place.

The resulting smiley silence was interrupted by Jackie clapping her hands briskly. "So! Since you're 'ere, 'ow about we go get some fish and chips for lunch?"

"I'd love to," Rose said, "as long as the Doctor doesn't mind."

The Time Lord in question wrinkled his nose. Fish and chips had never been one of his great loves, but he bore with it, for Rose's sake. "I am fully at your disposal, Miss Tyler," he intoned solemnly, adopting a high-class British accent.

"Oi. Don't push it, Mister." She took his arm, dazzling him with a winning smile. "If you behave yourself, we can always stop by the grocer's on the way home and find you some bananas..."

"Ooh. Now you've sold me," he said as she and Jackie began dragging him towards the front door. "Bananas are fantastic things, you know. And an excellent source of potassium, too. Not like pears at all. A bit of advice, Rose: always take a banana to a party..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Congratulations to everyone who's put up with my rambling this far! I love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Like just about every other fan out there, I wish ****_Doctor Who_**** was mine. But it's not. It's the BBC's. And maybe it's just as well...**

His words cut off abruptly, as though the very recollection had drained him. Martha laid a sympathetic hand on his back, unsure what else to do. "That was it?"

"Oh, we did more that day," he answered dully. "Nothing worth mentioning, though. Spent a few more days with Jackie, 'cause Rose was a little homesick. Then we left again, kept traveling... She saw a lot more of those places I'd told her about. But she never did see all of them. It wasn't more than a year later that she and I were at Canary Wharf, and she..." He glanced out the window at the starry sky, and Martha could see tears glittering in his eyes. "I never did tell her..."

"I know. And so does she, Doctor. It doesn't matter that you never said it out loud-you'd been showing her how you felt since you met her."

"But what if she didn't notice? I never was exactly blatant about it. And look how long I missed what she was trying to tell _me_."

"Listen to yourself, Doctor," Martha chided. "You keep telling me how brilliant Rose was, but _you_ don't even believe it, do you?"

All at once, the tears in his eyes vanished, replaced by a flash of anger. If she'd been standing, Martha might have backed away. But she wasn't, so she met his eyes with all the coolness that working for UNIT had taught her.

"How can you-" he growled. But she didn't even begin to let him finish. If she had pushed him too far, if she was going to die here at the hands of an angry Time Lord, she was bloody well going to say her piece.

"I'm saying that if you really believe that she was a bright girl, you had better believe that she knew. We humans might not be one of the great galactic civilizations, and we might not even be able to get to the moon while other races are going clear across the universe, but we _can_ tell when someone is trying to say they love us." She allowed herself a wry smile. "Even if that someone is a nine hundred year old Time Lord."

If water had been poured on his head, the fire in the Doctor's eyes couldn't have died faster. He bowed his head, a little sad smile playing about his lips. "I... I suppose I have been an idiot, haven't I?" he whispered.

Martha shrugged. " 'S only fair," she answered. "You've put up with an awful lot when I've been acting like an idiot."

"Still, I should know better by now."

"Hey, no one's perfect."

"Yeah, well." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You're looking at the Time Lord who probably takes first prize for 'not perfect.'"

"Careful, Mister," Martha warned with a smile. "I have witnesses that say otherwise."

"Oh, really, Miss Jones? Bring them in, by all means."

"Not a chance. Even your fancy Time Lord technology couldn't hold all of 'em."

The Doctor opened his mouth to shoot back a retort, when a call of "Martha!" from down the stairs shocked him into silence. Instead, he eyed Martha, his eyebrows raised in a silent question.

"That's Mum," she explained. "I'd better go down and help her get things ready. You could stay for dinner, if you wanted to, you know. I bet everyone would be happy to see you again."

"I... I can't."

"It wouldn't be any trouble."

"No, that's not it. It's nothing personal, I just... can't. Your family went through a lot of things they never should have gone through, because of me."

"Yeah, and they probably would have been dead otherwise."

"I know. Maybe they've forgiven me for it, maybe they haven't. But I... I need some time to forgive myself."

"...Alright. But if you change your mind, you're always welcome around here." Flashing him a small smile, she brushed past him. As he passed through the doorway, she paused. "And Doctor?"

"What?"

"Find someone new to show the stars to. I know there's no way you're replacing Rose, but I don't think she'd want you to be lonely, either. She just doesn't seem that type."

"...I'll try. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being-" He gestured at all of her, "this."

She smiled. "You too. Take care, you hear?"

"Yeah."

Then she was gone, and he was alone. He could hear the sound of her feet on the stairs, her voice calling brightly to her mother. She sounded so happy. So at home. Maybe she was right; maybe he _did_ need someone to keep him company. He hadn't asked another girl since Astrid, hadn't even taken a second look at any of them, but that old, familiar loneliness had already begun gnawing at him. If she were there, Rose would be scolding him mercilessly for neglecting himself to wallow in self-pity. Then again, if she were there, he wouldn't be having this problem...

And there he was, again. Martha_ was_ right. He _did_ need someone. It would never feel as right as it had with Rose, but he could do it. And now, he had Rose's picture.

He smiled down at the photo. And Rose smiled back.

Yes, he could do this. He would.

Rose would be so proud.

**So, that's it! Please review and tell me how you liked it! Or, you know, just tell me what I could do better! **

**And extra congratulations to any readers who got the How to Train Your Dragon joke, which...kinda snuck its way in there. I couldn't resist. *hangs head***


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